Thursday, February 18, 2010

Anxiety reigns. (And what else is new? they say...)

So tomorrow morning (early!) I fly down to New Orleans. I'm going to see my neurologist there to see if we can crack the code of the wicked headaches I've been having. But mostly it's a wedding prep trip, and every day is more or less packed:

Friday: The caterer comes by mom's place to scope the layout. Not sure she heard me when I told her it's really not a big place. Then hopefully dinner with Thom and Weber wherein I gently cajole them into their wedding day duties.

Saturday: Go out with dad to buy copious amounts of liquor with which we will stock the bar. Then to Gordon's of Metairie (where I may just have to buy this) to try to find a bird cage type thing for people to put gift cards into? I think? Possibly spray paint as well if it's ugly. And maybe some kind of tablecloth to put on the piano? Still gotta break it to Mom that that's where I want to set up the guest book...

Sunday: massage and facial at Earthsavers! I've never had a facial before. Yes, I am 32. What's your point? Then swing by the bed and breakfast type place where Jonathan and I will be staying on the wedding night and for the week afterward to make sure everything is squared away with the room. I made reservations online, but... it's just not really an online kind of place, you know? Plus they're super nice, and it's in a neighborhood I like to be in anyway.

Monday: neurologist, woo. And THEN, the most exciting thing ever! I get to drive to the Northshore (not so exciting) to meet with my baker about my VEGAN CUPCAKE TOWER!! Totally the most exciting thing ever, am I right? The flavors I should get to try that day are chocolate vanilla marble, lemon macadamia, toasted coconut with coffee buttercream, and banana split. Dear god I am in cupcake heaven. All that, plus a sample of the 6" cake that will be atop the tower: some almond apricot confection that she's whipping up. Yes, I am truly psyched. I'm finishing off the trip with a visit to Cafe Bamboo, New Orleans' only all-vegetarian restaurant. Gotta support, you know.

It should be a fun trip, a busy trip. Hopefully I will continue to *not* feel like crap so that I can actually use my time there. I am excited - I have been really, really missing New Orleans lately. But I'm quite anxious as well. Wedding jitters maybe, but I think my recent health and work issues are making it much more severe and complex than it would be otherwise. Last night I was in Ann Taylor, of all places, looking for a jacket to wear with my dress for the rehearsal dinner, and I just completely lost it. Practically burst into tears while checking out. The poor girl at the register had no idea what to think.

There's nothing particularly wrong - things are going progressively more smoothly and falling into place one by one. I shipped the flowers down to my mom and they arrived unharmed! I'm carrying my dress on tomorrow to reduce the risk of injury. The response cards are arriving daily, all with the answers we were expecting, and there have even been a couple of checks. I think it's just... a lot to deal with. The current status of my life (between my hatred of my job / inability to leave it, and my health issues that I can't get under control) is enough to bring me to tears, so you throw a wedding in there as well and it's really not surprising that I'm getting panicky.

At least I have my bunny rabbit for solace. He is so happy these days that he has begun running a circle around his favorite perching area every time we come see him. It's the cutest thing ever. It's nice to have that little spot of unadulterated joy in my life when so many other things are crazy. The only thing that stresses me about him is leaving him for two weeks! How will I live without that little bunny face? =:3


Kim said...

try Michaels...that's where I got my birdcage for wedding cards...and yes it was ugly so it got painted :)

Tamonster said...

wow that sounds amazing.