Thursday, January 28, 2010


I can hardly believe it, but I saw it with my own eyes. I, in fact, made it happen. Last night, at approximately 11:30 p.m., all 51 square green envelopes got dropped into the big blue mailbox up the block from our apartment. That's right people. THE INVITATIONS ARE IN THE MAIL!

Man, if there has ever been a more complicated invitation mess, I don't even want to hear about it - I think it would just make me nauseous to think about.

The saga:

Designed invites for the NY wedding, were having them printed, had to stop them in mid-production and lose my deposit because oops! No New York wedding. Designed NOLA wedding invitations, got them printed. But they had to be reprinted because of a margins issue, and then because of said issue the invites then didn't fit into the nice printed envelopes. (I *told* the printer this was going to happen, and he was all, no! It'll be fine! Needless to say, I was not pleased. Did he offer to rectify? Mmmno.) So then had to get new envelopes, and then what to do about a return address? OK, got an embosser.

Went to finally assemble, only to discover that my reply cards didn't fit into the envelopes either! (My fault on that part - they were a holdover from the original invites and I just never thought to check. The difference was like an eighth of an inch. Aarg.) So out came the exacto knife to cut 51 postcards down to size.

And OMG the stamps! Went to the post office - you know, the government run business-type organization responsible for distributing mail - to ask them what denomination of stamp to put on a square envelope. "Well how much does it weigh?" "It's just a normal invitation - just a couple pieces of paper. It's not heavy. It's just like a letter in a square envelope." "Well we'd need to know how much it weighs." "Isn't there just a standard upcharge for a square envelope, for the handling fee because it can't run through the machine?" Between three postal employess they still couldn't figure it out. Finally, "Well, I have this one stamp with a wedding cake on it for 61 cents." "Do you think that might be the one for a square envelope?" "Well I don't know..." Got online later to find that, oddly enough, yes, there is a 17 cent upcharge for a square envelope. Go figure.

And then stamps for the reply cards! Those we ordered online, and four days later they still hadn't arrived. So I stood in line for half an hour last night to buy a few sheets of the same stamps I'd ordered. I arrived home to find that... the stamps had arrived.

But none of this matters anymore. You know why? Because THE INVITATIONS ARE IN THE MAIL! I am, of course, saying a little prayer to the postal gods that nothing crazy happens to them in transit. I worked hard for those little squares!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Good news! I don't have to fly to California to punch anyone in the neck.

So, in case you haven't been keeping score, the dress situation goes like this. I found a dress in July. I showed it to my mom in August, and she loved it. Hooray! Ordering = go. Of course, it took a bit for me to get up on it... I think I finally placed the order sometime in September. They told me it would arrive in December. Fabulous.

Then, it shipped in October. I freaked out! "I'm not ready to deal with the dress yet!" I said. I considered sticking the box in the bottom of a closet for two months. Well, thank god I didn't, because when I pulled it out I found that it had a three inch pen mark on it. Yeah.

Dress got sent back... eventually. Took me a minute to coordinate that - I'm a busy woman you know. OK, so a few weeks later I got back my "fixed" dress. It looked like a 7th grade home ec project. Not cool, not what you want in your wedding dress to say the least. Strongly worded emails ensued.

Well, I was refunded for the dress and for my shipping costs, and ordered a completely new dress in a different color. It arrived in the end of December, and last night I tried it on - shoes and petticoat and all.


It's my wedding dress, in other words. :) It makes me grin, it makes me prance, it makes me act kind of un-me-like (in a good way). It makes me feel lovely.

So alright universe, I've had enough trouble with the dress, kay? No destroying it when I fly down for the wedding or any such nonsense. GOT THAT?! Awesome, love ya!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

I swear, they practically broke my arm.

It was brutal and vicious, they way they just absolutely tortured me!

OK, no, not really. It was actually just firmly suggested that Jonathan and I really and truly need a "real" registry. I've been fighting this, and hard. Why?
  • we don't need or want china, silver, whatev
  • we'd rather people spend money on the nonprofits we've told them about
  • we don't have anywhere to put more stuff anyway...
Et cetera. But then x-mas came, and there was the big box from my ma. And what did it contain? Toasting flutes. Apparently she did not recall the several extensive conversations we had wherein I explained that 1) I really have no desire for that kind of gift, and 2) Jon and I had already spent an excruciating two days finding toasting flutes that he and I actually both like.

And that was the proverbial straw. So, yeah, we did it. We have three small registries now - we even did the one at Macy's. Man, the girl there *really* did not know what to think of us. "Are you excited?!" "No, not really..." "Don't you want to register for some china placesettings and some silver?!?!" "Um, no." (Don't get me wrong. We were nice to her. But we were in hysterics over their little pre-printed sheet of suggestions. They seem to be under the impression that all newlyweds are, like, Kennedys or something?)

I did actually register for a few pieces of china - not placesettings - just pieces. What? IT'S GOT BIRDS ON IT.

We'd still prefer if people donate for us, or maybe contribute to the honeymoon registry that we thought would do the trick for people. ("No, people want to give you something that you'll see every day!" says my got-married-two-years-ago friend. She seems to be correct.) But hey, we like opening presents too. What we're *really* hoping is that someone will get Jon a gravy boat...

Friday, January 1, 2010

So what the hell is going on with this wedding?

Well I'll tell you. Not much. The truth of it is you haven't really been hearing from me because I've had little to no energy to put into the wedding in the past few months - my crap health and ridiculous job have been taking pretty much all I've got, and you throw the holidays on top of that and, well... there you go, two months of no blogging.

So let me think. What haven't you heard about? Well I think I need to fill you in on the dress saga. I believe you know that I ordered the dress. Great! Hooray! There was that silly freakout when I discovered it was going to arrive in October instead of December and I was all, but I'm not ready for it yet! Well, thank god I opened the box instead of letting it sit around, because when I did open it I found a perfectly lovely dress... with a three inch pen mark on the skirt. Mmm hmm.

OK. So the dress went back. And a couple of weeks later I got it back, supposedly "fixed." What did I find? ZOMG, complete nightmare. To "fix" the dress, they had cut out a panel from the front of the skirt, leaving the skirt with two new seams running down the front that weren't there before. But the big issue was the box pleats.

One of the main features of the dress is a row of inverted box pleats running beneath the sewn in waist band. They're quite prominent. These had to be taken out and sewn back in to replace the panel of fabric. Well, they were sewn back in badly. And I mean BADLY. Each one was a different size, measurable in half inches! The one on the right was nearly a full inch narrower than the one on the left, and the whole series was totally off center. Now, had this been some secondhand dress off of Ebay, that'd be one thing. It wasn't. Feel me?

OK. So needless to say, that dress too went back. So there I was, pretty much exactly four months out from the wedding, with no dress. This is ungood. Many dressmakers won't even take an order with less than four months' lead time. So - and you're going to think I'm crazy - I reordered the dress from the same company, in a different color so that it would be impossible for any part of the original dress to be used in the new one. I did so on the guarantee that it would be personally inspected by the sales woman I'd been corresponding with.

The dress shipped out on December 30; it's scheduled to arrive on January 7. Let's just say that if it arrives effed up, I may fly to California just to bitch slap somebody.

Hmm. Other stuff. The shoes I ordered in October finally arrived. I wasn't thrilled with the fabric, but so it goes. Well, I wore them around the house for an hour and the fabric has already begun to separate from the sole and shred. So much for handmade quality. I haven't contacted the Etsy seller I got them from yet because, lord help me, I haven't got the strength.

Invitations will be going out sometime in the next two weeks... though before that can happen I still need to figure out how to get return addresses on the envelopes.

I'm still just so thankful to the woman who made my flower stuff - that remains the ONE THING that I haven't had to do at least twice! Fleur Rouge, I will love you for ever and ever. Now everyone put your collective energies together and pray for me that nothing bad happens to them when I ship them down to NO! I will be in a slight panic from the moment they leave my possession until my mom calls me to say she received an un-crushed box.

So that's all for now folks. Soon I hope to talk with my caterer about using some recipes I have to, say, bake us a vegan wedding cake and/or cupcakes, and maybe some more exciting menu options... I'll let you know how that goes.