So, as it turns out of course I was just being my jump-the-gun self. Have I gotten 51 enthusiastic responses to my 51 envelopes? Of course not; no one would, not even the most popular girl in the world I don't think. But what I have gotten is acknowledgment from my nearest and dearest - well from almost all of the girls anyway. Not from the boys, but can I really ask for miracles? The day a boy emails me about a piece of stationery, I will pass out with amazement.
Jonathan keeps telling me that people have lives, people are busy. Even if they are thrilled about our upcoming nuptials and delighted to be invited, and even if they have every intention of dropping a line, it doesn't mean it's going to happen. I keep thinking of all the times I have managed to say the nice thing about the thing that's happening that I want to recognize... but when I'm honest with myself, I also remember all the times that I haven't (but really meant to!). We all do this.
So really the question is not, why am I not good enough to deserve their love and attention. The question is, why isn't the love and attention of my core of friends, who have proved themselves true for years, enough for me? It certainly isn't for any lack of valuing them! They're the family I'm not related to. I would drop anything at any moment for any one of them - as most of them have done for me at one time or another. I consider myself lucky to have built this group, and if they were the only people to show up at the wedding from my part of the guest list I'd be in great company.
I'm telling you, I'm making a list for this week's session.